Professional West Side Story Dance Audition

Not much to say on the subject really....

A couple of years ago back in Ireland I got the opportunity to audition for a production of West Side Story to be performed at the Gaiety Theatre, Dublin. Having been part of the show a couple of times before (playing the lead, I might add!), I was quietly confident my singin and acting would get me the gig. Little did I know that everyone had to be put through a dance audition before reading or singing....NOT GOOD!

First of all, I think I was almost the only person not in a tank top and jazz shoes, which I took as a sign that this wasn't your average 'step together, step together' audition....

We started off with some quick moves which I was nailing and I started thinking " Jeez, this dancing stuff isn't that bad!" INCORRECT!

All of a sudden, I'm hearing terms like 'Jeté', 'Double spin', 'Double KNEE spin', and a bloody 'JAZZ SPLITS'!!!! Personally speaking, if it's not the full splits, I'm just not bothered!

The way the audition was laid out, there were a few lines of about 8 or so and every once in a while, the front line would move to the back and every other line would move forward....I made a conscious decision to stay in line 3 for the duration, so that I'd have a few people to watch but not too many would be behind me! Apparently, so did the rest of the room! Eventually, we had 3 guys in the front row and about 60 of us pushed up against the back wall trying to hide as best we could....But things were about to put paid to that idea...!

Suddenly, the choreographer, who was wrecked himself from the amount of bloody gymnastics we were having to do, tells us to all sit down and that he'd be calling us up in FOURS to do "The Whole Routine"; once with him and then with him watching! Nightmare!

If there were, for arguments sake, 80 guys in the room, I can safely say that I would just DIE of shame if I had to dance next to about 70 of them. Seriously, some of these guys were the greatest dancers I've ever seen, some of them were pretty good, some of them were fine, and some were just crap...But all of THOSE guys were way better than me! I could only pray I was placed in a group with some other "I'm not a dancer, I'm an actor " guys! Luck, it would seem, favours the cowardly in the world of dance!

I was in the second group next to a couple of guys I knew, who were no dancers either. *Thank God*

The first take, I'm not ashamed to say, I nailed it!!! (As someone who can't see myself dance, as far as I know, it was perfect and just what they are looking for!) I did decide to leave out the knee spins, the double spins, and of course the 'cheating' jazz split finale but that's just because I thought the routine looked better my way!

The second take, we were now being officially auditioned........Panic. Stations.

Did you ever see that episode of Friends when Joey was asked to choreograph the dance audition and he had to show them how to do the routine properly? I always wondered what was going through his head just before he started to dance! NOW I KNOW!

I'm hearing the music building up to the dance break and all I can think is "Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no.".

Then I hear the CD...badada 'COOL', badada 'GO', badada 'CRAZY'. 'COOL GO CRAZY....GO'.

Time stands still for a moment................

I see myself as a child, dreaming of being an inventor.
I see myself in school, desperately trying to get my first kiss.
I see myself in college. Not much happened around that period.
I see myself working in the Golden Pages, hating every day.
I see myself auditioning right there for West Side Story.
I see myself as an old man, crying and muttering something about jazz splits.

Choreographer: "5,6,7,8"
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..... jesus!
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..... yikes!
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..... ow!
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..... jazz split finale and....
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Roughly 30 seconds later, I no longer have any shame, pride, hamstrings, kneecaps, confidence, breath, chance at a part, friends, and of course I am eying up the exit sign like a man possessed. I'm just waiting for people to start laughing...

In fairness to the guys, every time a group finished, they would all clap although I'm convinced that anyone with any love for dance would have been ashamed to clap for some of us. It must be a bitter moment for them to see us sully their art! Ah well, to hell with them!

Then, the moment of truth...

Choreographer: "That's all I need to see. If you hear from us, that's good news. If you don't hear from us, that's bad news."

Black and white! This fella knew how to get to the point! This may be a bold assumption on my part but I'm going to say I will fall into the latter category!

As they say, "Fame costs, and right here is where you start paying!"


P.S. For the record, and to make things even funnier, I actually GOT a part in the show and ended up having to dance from start to finish. Life, it would seem, is not without it's sense of irony!